Ideas for Keeping the Love

Ideas for Keeping the Love Connection Alive Across the Miles (for women)
By Brenda Marlin

Ask God how you can creatively minister to your husband’s needs while he is away.
Pray for each other while talking together on a phone call or by sending prayers via email. Use specific scripture to prayer over each other as well.
Write your husband and tell him how he reminds you of a great hero in the Bible. Be specific about the traits like courage, compassion, great warrior, passion, etc.
Have a magazine subscription of your husband’s favorite interest mailed to him monthly.
Send pictures of yourself to your husband at various times while he is away.
Take some tasteful romantic pictures prior to his leaving, then send them with him.
Before he leaves, write little love notes and secretly tuck them away in various places in your husband’s bags.
Handwrite a letter to your husband every day to make sure he receives mail.
Send your husband a care package with his favorite baked items and something else he likes to have.
For his birthday, make a large brownie (cake size) and place hard candy on it, which spells out “happy birthday”. Send candles too, so that he can share it with his buddies. Also, make a tape singing some version of “happy birthday” to him.
Show your respect for husband by telling him how proud you are of him. Share with him examples of how you brag on him to your girlfriends.
Plan a “date” with your husband and meet at a pre-designated web site (May I suggest Family Life’s web site at www.fltoday.org?) and read a short article and discuss it over the phone or chat on line.
“Meet” at a pre-designated web site that describes a vacation destination you would like to go to when he returns for R&R or post deployment.
Read a book together, a chapter per week and discuss it the next time you talk with each other.
Talk about the things you love and admire about your husband in a letter or over the phone.
Remind your husband of the things that attracted you to him when you first met.
Next time you have your hair cut, save a lock of it and send it to him.
Spray some of the perfume that you wear on a card, or piece of fabric and send it to your husband. Be sure to seal your card with a kiss (wear some lipstick when you do this).
Find out what each other’s love language is (Gary Chapman has a book on this topic – The Five Love Languages).
Connect with your husband’s family and ask them to share recipes that were meaningful to them when he was growing up. Make up a family recipe book and tell him about it.
Tape record yourself reading some of your favorite poems and send the tape to your husband.
Write your own poem about your husband and send it to him.
Get two copies of “Moments Together for Couples” a daily devotional book by Barbara and Dennis Rainey and make a commitment to read the devotion for the day and discuss together via email. (hint…you can also sign up on line to receive the daily devotional via email by going to www.flatoday.org).
If you have children, have them write a story or color a picture about how proud they are of their daddy. Then make up a special patriotic themed care package with red, white and blue streamers, candy, small blown up balloons, etc. to send him.
Look at the moon on the same day together (during the evening in your own time zones) and think about how each other can look at the same moon.
Look for a star formation that both of you can see and do the same thing as above.
Ask your husband to share his dreams with you. Listen to him and don’t try to minimize or play them down in any way.
Become interested in a sport, hobby or activity your husband enjoys (even if you don’t necessarily enjoy it yourself) and share it with him. Example…if he likes golf, pay attention to the tournaments and watch for his favorite player. Let him know how his favorite player is doing in the tournament. Subscribe to a magazine that highlights his interest. Or, take some lessons and plan on participating with him in his favorite activity when he returns.
Take good care of yourself while he is away. You will want to look your best when he returns.
Become more interesting by educating yourself and sharing what you have learned with your husband. Stay up on current events. Warning…don’t try to show off or compete with him, just share.
Learn about what he likes about you, how you dress, hair styles, etc. Then be the best woman you can be for him.
Get together with other women whose husband’s are deployed and brainstorm ideas with each other on how to be romantic from a distance.
Tell your husband how much you miss him and appreciate all he does for you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Let your husband know how much you need him. Don’t communicate that “I can do everything without him”. Men like to be needed…it communicates respect.
Keep your husband in the loop on what is going on at home. He will feel important if you do.
Allow him to be your knight in shining armor…let him know ways that he has provided protection for you while he is away.
Stay under his leadership and communicate ways that you do so.
Create a special day honoring your husband…have family and friends send cards, emails, care packages which communicate their support of him.
Walk down memory lane…put a themed care package together with memories of one of your special days together. Be careful not to overdo, because you don’t want to create a feeling of sadness, but of happiness, pride and joy.
Plan a surprise for him, by sending hints in packages or letters leading up to the final item you send him.
Create a coupon book for him for him to redeem when he is away or whenever he returns home.
Send your husband a special coupon two weeks before he comes home. He can redeem it whenever he wants when after he returns home.
Read a book on how to improve your marriage.
Read a book on how to build your husband’s self esteem.
Read a book on how to understand your husband’s needs as a man.
Create a special place that your husband can have all to himself when he returns home. Example, decorate a room with his needs in mind. If he likes music, make it a music room. If he likes fishing, create a lodge atmosphere with fishing magazines and decorating items. Have pictures of him catching the “big one” blown up and hung on the walls. Make it “manly” looking. If you don’t have a special room to use, use the garage, or designated wall to show off his interests.
Make a scrapbook of things that took place while he was away. Share it with him when he returns home.
Wear a special clothing item of his with his cologne placed on it. I have developed a tradition of wearing my husband’s denim shirt or robe around the house while my husband is away. It feels like he is hugging me when I wear them.
Sleep with pillows next to you so that you don’t get used to having the bed all to yourself. You can spray a small amount of his cologne on the pillow case or sachet that you place inside the pillow case. Don’t replace the empty spot with a child. Your child will get used to sleeping there. When daddy returns, your child might resent him for taking his or her space in your bed.
Use a heated blanket on his side of the bed so that the bed won’t feel cold. As a side benefit, you will be used to the warmth generated from that side of your bed when your husband returns home.
Pray before your husband returns home that your adjustment to his return will be a smooth transition. Pray specifically for peace, unity and joy to reign within your home when he returns.
Speak to your children often about the respect and high regard you have for their daddy. Build him up in front of them.
If you are able to, ask for your husband’s opinion on major decisions that need to be made for your family and home while he is away. If he is not able to participate in a major decision, recall his response to similar circumstances, pray and ask for God’s wisdom, then make your decision. Later, when you are able to, tell him how you made your decision based upon the facts you had and his great leadership for your family in the past.
If you have any issues from your past that you think hinders your relationship with your husband in any way, now would be a great time to work on them.
Ask him how you can support him with his work and his career.
Dream together about what you want to do after he retires from the military. Remember, dream together, and don’t place any conditions or limitations on those dreams. You are just dreaming and brainstorming together.
If your husband is stressed out whenever he calls you, allow him the opportunity to vent. Don’t try to fix the situation he is in. Be a good listener. You may be the only person he trusts to communicate his frustrations with. Remember to build him up and be an encourager. Be sincere whenever you do this.
Take good care of his stuff while he is away. Don’t allow your children to use or misuse anything of your husband’s while he is away.
Leave a pair of your husband’s shoes out in a place in your bedroom, living room, or wherever you would like to see them. Tell him that you are leaving them out on purpose to remind you of his presence in your home.
Write a tribute to your husband and send it to him.
Tell his family members how proud you are of your husband and how much you love him.
I’m not going to kid you…the holidays are hard while your husband is away. Try to do something special for him that will show your love for him. Make him his favorite Christmas cookies, send him a very small decorated Christmas tree, or something that will have great meaning to him.
Make a tape recording while you are taking a bubble bath, talk about your day and how you miss him, and then mail him the tape.
Set up an instant messenger email chat date time. If you don’t have a web cam, consider purchasing one if your husband can get access to one as well.
Create a special endearing code word that only you and your husband know the meaning of. Place the code word tucked away in a letter, email, or care package. You could even arrange to have one of your husband’s buddies place it somewhere where he works or in his room.
Ask your husband to describe the importance of his job to you.
During the Christmas holidays, fill up his stocking with his favorite candy, music and other favorite items. For a little added spice…add a fun pair of Christmas colored unmentionables with a coupon attached, redeemable when he returns home.
For Valentine’s Day, make a heart shaped “stocking” and do the same as above.
Have some postal stamps made with a picture of you and your spouse. Go to www.usps.com to order these stamps.
Share with your husband things you like to do with each other.
Write a short story or song about your husband that indicates your love and pride for him.
Make up a few scrapbook pages with memories and love letters you have sent each other. Send him a copy of the pages every once in a while to show him what you are doing to document this time in your lives.
Don’t stop what you have started when your husband returns…keep the romance going, don’t become complacent or too busy to make time to focus on your relationship.